Raise your hand if you like your driver's license photo. How about your passport photo? Yeah, didn't think so. But it could be worse: you could be trying to renew your Dutch passport and have to subject yourself to the Dutch government's idea of an acceptable passport photo.
Case in point: I thought I'd pop into Kinko's to get my picture taken before my appointment with the Dutch Consulate next week. Hah, wish life were so easy! After intently studying a four-page (!) document describing the do's and don'ts of passport photography, it quickly became apparent that the blue-shirted fellow with the instamatic wasn't going to cut it. I needed to bring in some heavier guns if I was to avoid being in violation of Dutch passport code umpteen-thousand-and-six.
Think I'm joking? Well, let's play a little game, shall we? See if you can guess what's wrong with the 15 photos below. I've listed the answers under the photos so if you don't want to cheat, don't scroll down too far.
1 - black and white (okay, that one's easy)
2 - optical distortion (how would you know, maybe she's just got high cheek bones?!)
3 - unnatural representation (huh?! is it because he looks like a Smurf?)
4 - visible support (it's a baby, for cryin' out loud!)
5 - reflection (the lesson here: don't forget to powder your nose!)
6 - background not uniformly lit (words escape me...)
7 - more than one background color (sorry, no mall portraits, folks)
8 - merging background colors (see above)
9 - insufficient background contrast
10 - insufficient background contrast
11 - face not entirely visible
12 - eyes not entirely visible
13 - eyeglasses reflection (this was the downfall of Mr. Blueshirt)
14 - eyeglasses shadow
15 - not centered in frame (missed it by
that much!)
I don't have a visual aid for it, but the one that gets me the most is this one: under no circumstances may you have your mouth open. What?! I can't show off my pearly whites and say cheeeeze? How un-American! Oh, wait, I'm renewing my
Dutch passport...
To be fair, although "applicants may not smile broadly or open their mouths," they did add that this "does not mean that they have to look surly or sullen." After all, we Dutchies are a merry people, full of joy and zest!
Well, the kind and expert folks at
Ritz Camera downtown Portland did an excellent job of following all the rules and regulations – I hope! Guess I'll find out in a few weeks...
I know you're all dying to see my final passport photo, so here it is: (don't laugh, it's worse than my driver's license picture!)
Hope they don't notice that sheen on the tip of my nose!
Yes, you read it correctly: through the end of the month, I'm offering 50% off everything in stock! Just fill your basket with at least $50 worth of product, enter the coupon code "take50" during check-out, and voilà – watch as 50% of your total magically disappears! 
Since I last shared photos of my art, I've created a few other pieces as well. This one has elements dangling from fishing line and jingles like a chime when I walk around the house with it:
And this little darling was inspired by a piece my former co-worker Bev Soasey created years ago for a friend of hers:
I love old illustrations and photographs and use them as often as I can. These next two pieces also make great use of old photo album pages, another one of my faves – they create a beautiful frame for the image and allow plenty of "white space" even after adding a few embellishments.
Right now I'm working on a shrine of sorts. It's getting close to being done, just need to figure out a few last details and then add wings – intrigued yet? Yes, I promise I will show pictures when it's done. Stay tuned...
1 - black and white (okay, that one's easy)
Hope they don't notice that sheen on the tip of my nose!
